by LS Harteveld
Sixteen months ago I started my White Tigress journey, on this temporary blog. Quite some people subscribed to the The 100 Day Tutelage of Hsi Lai. And it breaks my heart to end it.
But I have no choice.
With Hsi Lai, the author’s name of the original White Tigress book, in the title, I’m not going to make it the title of my book, or my Facebook page.
I sincerely hope he sells more White Tigress books because of my simplified version of the White Tigress. And that my White Tigress work will benefit him. Because although this blog will end, the work continues.
The blog, or this journey, has unleashed my inner White Tigress.
Although not in the way I expected it would.
One intense sexual dalliance with a stranger
is more beneficial than a hundred encounters with one’s own mate.
The journey did not start early 2016. But early 2007, at Ash Wednesday.
I bought Hsi Lai’s White Tigress book, on how solitary women can stay young and develop themselves spiritually. And ever since then, it has been a continuous source of inspiration in my life. It is the only personal development book I refer to for a variety of subjects. Yoga, sex, spirituality.
In February 2016, I went public with me being a White Tigress student and started this 100 Day Tutelage; a challenge to practice the White Tigress yoga and lifestyle, including a focus on oral sex, for a hundred days.
What few people realized was that the title was a direct reference to the movie Kill Bill, where one of the chapters is called; The Cruel Tutelage of Pa Mei
Although the movie doesn’t have anything to do with sex, it does portray one of the strongest female characters in movie history – Beatrice Kiddo, also referred to as Kiddo, B., or the Black Mamba, and played by Uma Thurman.
I thought the analogy was appropriate since The White Tigress too, operates alone and is strong willed.
In the first Chapter, The Origin of Hsi Lai, I give a summary of the book, and explain The White Tigress theory, comparing it to Tantra and mainstream Taoism. Because my problems were physical, as I was suffering from irregular menstruation, I was totally focused on understanding the physical practices. The literal do’s and don’ts. But in May things changed.
On May 6th, 2016 I stopped drinking. I was still nowhere near being consistent in my White Tigress practices, and I figured that by quitting the white wine at least I would be making some effort to clear up my diet. I didn’t have to feel a total White Tigress failure.
Once the haze of the alcohol had vaporized, I found myself feeling pristine clean, and reborn. And with an incredible lust to write erotica.
Because that was what had really been the problem.
My focus had been on getting healthy, fixing my period, doing yoga, publishing my books, running my studio, writing blog posts for the studio and so on. An endless to-do list of becoming a responsible adult and quit being such a mess.
And in doing so the first thing I had dropped was writing erotica; a way too frivolous time passing for someone who’s life and reproductive organs were falling apart.
So I shifted my focus from trying to fit into the box, to setting myself free and do which came naturally. To write those stories down whenever they wanted to come out.
This conclusion was drawn in Chapter 7 – Face to Face.
And after that I wrote three erotic stories, right here on this site;
The Saint, The Quickie and The Choice.
And if you re wondering why there are no links? Hold your horses!
I ll guide you in a minute.
The Tigress takes her throne
Once I got back on the erotica train, things turned for the better. I stopped feeling guilty for being a slacker Tigress and did what I do best;
Enjoy sex. Write about it. And to analyse; Where I was holding myself back?
And in the end of 2016 there it was;
the breakthrough that I am still enjoying today.
The realization that I really am my own woman, my own Queen. And that I don’t need my lover to choose for me, in order to justify my love, my lust, my existence. Nothing.
I was free.
I started my own White Tigress Facebook group to further develop my thoughts and to share all the things I now knew about being an independent single woman, and choosing the path of the White Tigress. I could have shared it on this blog, but I felt this blog was for different things. That The 100 Day Tutelage of Hsi Lai represented a time in my life when I was still unclear about so many aspects of myself, as well as about the specifics of White Tigress path that I now advocate. This blog was a temporary vessel, not the purpose itself.
You can find the content of this entire blog, in its edited, vastly improved form, as part of my book Big, diaries and erotica. And although I did some vigorous editing, often feeling like I was cutting it in half, I m incredibly proud of the result.
Part 4 and 5: The 100 Day Tutelage of Hsi Lai and More Erotica
This is also the ending to Big. And Big is the final diary of my eight books The Wait Worth 8.
So even though this blog The 100 Day Tutelage of Hsi Lai, has hereby ended, and the closing credits will soon roll over the screen, there is a happy ending.
And a to be continued.
An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living
I’ll be waiting….