Chapter 2. Two

2004 gok ik madonna_yoga_goddess

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Background info: This blog is based on the book The Sexual Teachings of the White Tigress by Hsi Lai.

Maybe it was because  I was on my White Tigress journey and anticipated to one day, in the near future, be able to milk men for their yang energy. But I can’t remember having felt so vibrantly happy and energized after giving oral sex. My arm and hand were splattered, my nose, my hip, cleavage. I read men who practiced Taoist methods to contain there sexual energy had orgasms only once a month, and “would shoot as far as half a meter”. Apparently regular men needed training for this. No; for half of this.

Whenever my lover climaxed after oral sex or a hand job, we had to inspect the whole room up unto the ceiling for trails. And I had never told him anything about Taoist practices. What I had told him, spooning against each other, fully clothed and with me turning away from him, was a detailed account of how I had masturbated.
“I should have drank more wine,” I sighed as I snuggled up to him and made myself comfortable. In my lower belly I felt the same warmth spreading as when I had made the preparations to masturbate.  A script that included every insertable toy I owned, and a vivid fantasy about my lover paying me a visit.
“Two wine is not enough for this confession.”

My lover groaned and pulled me even closer. “That good huh?”

Wallow don’t swallow

The biggest misconception about my project is that people think the White Tigress promotes swallowing semen to stay youthful. At least that is what I deducted from suddenly receiving links to articles illustrating the nutritional benefits of semen, and a link to an article that grapefruits have the same enzymes as semen. Also, someone informed me on the practices of bukake. Not a proposal to do one (which would have been quite in your face, but at least practical) but to inform me on what it was.

Now let me get two things straight: first – the White Tigress doesn’t swallow. She absorbs male energy from her Green Dragons (never through swallowing) and from a Jade Dragon if she has one. With the Jade Dragon she uses more advanced techniques which could involve swallowing, but that is rare.
So usually (with a Green Dragon) she will let the sperm land on her skin, where she leaves it to dry. Any sperm that comes into her mouth – for example because she loves to have her mouth wide open and generously sticks her tongue out – this sperm still has been into contact with air which changes the composition. The White Tigress doesn’t let a man climax in her throat with her lips around his penis, and then swallows it. That’s not how it goes.
And secondly – I know perfectly well what bukake is. In the late 90’s our commercial television channels had a strong fascination for documenting (!) the porn industry, so I am profoundly educated on that field. My favorite 90s porn actress was Tania Russof, who looked like Xena the Warrior Princess (I told you! It was the 90s!). And my current favorite is Stoya: a Snow White-like athletic fairy. For anything the programs failed to cover, my boyfriend filled in the gaps. Take that as literally as you like. But he told me what bukake was. And I strongly discourage you to Google that. I ve even deliberately failed to check the spelling myself, because it’s the kind of search term that gets your computer infected with all kinds of exotic viruses. Which is a good bridge to one of the many  reasons why the White Tigress doesn’t swallow:
It can get you infected with all kinds of exotic viruses.

Risk control

The number of men I ve slept with is limited, because I m overly aware of the dangers of unprotected sex and the viruses that do not require semen to transfer. If I get genital herpes, then what? Genital warts? How about that number of women on the rise (usually in a relationships) who need surgery on their cervix for a cancer that is caused by a virus? Men get throat cancer from the same virus that they get from giving oral sex to women. I suspect, although I have never heard this proven, that women too, risk getting throat cancer from giving oral sex. Because why would men’s throats respond different than ours?

So when it comes to “safe sex” I never invited vaginal or anal intercourse without a condom. And no unauthorized rubbing, or explorative poking, with your bare saber. And I never trusted oral sex to be safe. Safer, yes. But safe?

If you include cancer, warts, herpes and the fact that your lover might be cheating on you, then in my pretty extended study book on the subject: the only sex that is safe, is no sex at all.

One of the reasons I’m working with The Sexual Teachings of the White Tigress, is that when it comes to safe or unsafe sex, she and me are one of a kind: we are both aware of the dangers but still determined to make the most of it.
Just that she knows more about cucumbers.

Cucumbers as the first line of defense

Cucumbers are rich on acid, and many viruses cannot survive in an acidic environment. I ran into one of my yoga students, when I went out to buy my first cucumber. Or at least the first cucumber for this purpose. I had originally planned to get two, but when I saw the price, I thought it wiser to do just one for now. It was a supermarket I rarely use. I was sure my own wouldn’t be that expensive. I would need half a cucumber a day minimum, for consumption. But they looked fairly large. I m sure a third of this well-endowed Dutch greenhouse cucumber equaled half of a Chinese cucumber in Taoist times….
I was still daydreaming about cucumbers when my student said hi, and we had a little chat. I considered sharing my cucumber thoughts but realized I would have to explain too many variables before she could help me in my decision process.

How many cucumbers does a White Tigress need?

A White Tigress drinks the juice of half a cucumber daily.
I don’t believe in juicing so I just eat that peeled, and whole.

A White Tigress cleans her throat and her vagina once a week with a peeled cucumber. It says the best way to do this is to peel half of a 20 centimeter long cucumber, and insert it (and swirl it around) holding it by the other half. Since Dutch cucumbers are indeed usually 30 centimeter, not 20, this confirms my suspicion our cucumbers are significantly bigger than the Chinese. And not just the cucumbers.

The cucumber is also used to train for a technique called The Red Dragon Retreats Into Silence. I have a Dutch version of the book, so it may have gotten lost in translation. But this technique is known in yoga as Khechari Mudra; the swallowing of the tongue.
It has (by itself) profound spiritual and physiological effects to be able pull the tongue back, and was essential to become a White Tigress and absorb male energy.

Cucumber is also used to clean the penis of the partner of bacteria and viruses, and the smell of cucumbers is considered an aphrodisiac. Since I had no idea how my lover would respond to having his penis rubbed with produce, I decided to leave my cucumbers at home when after which seemed like an eternity, my lover and I got back together again.

I put on my leather pants, a white shirt, packed my handbag with everything I thought we’d need. My smile revealed I was a woman on a mission.

Bruised

The sore bits healed deliciously slow, and kept reminding me of our night. According to the White Tigress I had probably aged 5 years minimum. And although I had learned over time to recover emotionally without him checking in or being there, it was at times like this, when our sex had been exceptionally good and gratifying, that I couldnt help but rethinking the whole thing. Leave him! My ratio demanded. Or was it my ego? But everything about me that beat, pulsed, moved, and breathed said;
I love you.
I m so glad I found you.
I never had anything like this.

Part of me longed for him to choose for me. But if that part was indeed called An Ego, it wasn’t out of love. It was because then I would be important. And special. And unique. And I realized that those were of little value to me. I ve been important to some. And special. And I was unique to all my lovers. But it was like eating winegums : no matter how much you think you crave it when you see it, they’re not the key to happiness.

Three women warned me this week; that I am vulnerable and that he will hurt me. And therefor, I must leave. It’s what society tells us: We must measure what we get from a relationship, and what we get must be more than the cost of getting hurt. It’s calculated risk management in its purest form. And identical to a White Tigress woman, estimating the risk of getting an STD from a man, versus the revenue of his sperm.

One by one, the days went by and still I didn’t hear from him. My life seemed so quiet. It was as if God was holding his breath to await my decision. What would I do? Clearly, if he was to break up with me, I now had a zillion Told you so’s waiting for me, on top of the heartbreak and pain. And all women who were married, had once been married, or intended to ever get married, would be happy that I got what I deserved.

To be continued

I remembered how I had gotten dressed. The attention for detail. I had shaved my pussy, which was supposed to be part of a daily White Tigress routine but I intended to keep it at once a week. Or date nights. I had showered, naturally. I had washed my hair and wore my blonde curls long. I knew I enjoyed running through them with my fingers, while we were waiting for dessert. And to casually pull them over one shoulder to reveal my neck. We left and he asked what I would like to do next. I laughed. “I suddenly realize I could still just go home!”
And he smiled back: “Of course. Always.”

Those are the things that make me stay. The long build up, where I present a version of myself that I like more than any other side of me. A blushing, well-dressed, radiant woman that is nowhere near insight, unless I m going to see him.
And that he never expects anything.
He always meets me wherever I am, sometimes I do go home and it’s just platonic. But in all cases he gives me exactly what I need, suggest, dream of, or do not dare to ask. Yes he’s rough. Yes he can be demanding. And dominant. And it is sometimes painful to be with him, because he isn’t a Chinese cucumber.

And those are the reasons that if he would hurt me emotionally, it would all, absolutely, wholeheartedly, be worth it.

 

 

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